Life Changing Lover
by Haco
Summary: Draco writes a jounal about his life, and how he's messed it up so much and how all those mess ups lead him to the most unexpected person ever, Harry Potter
1. Life Changing Lover

**Disclaimer**

The following story is slash, meaning guy on guy, and so if you don't like it then don't

bother reading it,

**Pairing:** Harry and Draco.

**Just So You Know**

This story is the exact same as my previous stories such as, "Journal," and, "The Truth Revealed."It just skips all the ity bity detail, that really took to long to tell, and that was just irrelevant to take 50 chapters to talk about. But Draco's past will be summarized.

**Apologize**

Okay, so like I've said before, I just want to apologize again to everyone who was getting into my previous versions of this story, it's just that it was getting a bit to long to get to the main point. And it would take several chapters to get Harry and Draco together, and I don't really want to waist mine or your time. So I hope you will enjoy the story and again, please review.

Thanks much♥

**Summary: **Draco writes a journal about his mess ups, and how he's messed it up so much. And how all those mess ups lead him to the most unexpected person ever, Harry Potter.

**Chapter One**

Okay, so I've gone through ALOT of stuff in my life, and I have no idea how to help myself, and I read this book, where this guy had gotten in trouble with the law, because one day he slapped his girlfriend and she took it to court where they got a restraining order against him. They also sent him to a class where he had to write in a journal about why he did what he did. He started out at the very beginning of their relationship, and the journal really seemed too make him change and understand himself better, he also enjoyed remembering the past, so I'm going to do the same.

Hi, I'm Draco Andrew Malfoy, and I'm at a confusion point in my life, and I don't know if I can help myself. So instead of just moping around I'm going to write a bout it, but I'm not going to just jump write into my problem, I'm going to start by summarizing to how I got to where I am now.

xxxxxxx

So first, all my problems started out when I was eleven years old, and I was going to start my first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was just really fed up with my home life, I mean my dad was NEVER happy with me, I was always such a disappointment to him, and not to mention my mom was WAY to overbearing, like she would never really let me do anything. And I was just really fed up with it, and was so glad to get away from them. So I guess I would say that I came to the school with a bit of a rebellious hateful kind of attitude, okay, I admit it, I was really rebellious and really hateful. I was just tired of being told what to do, I wasn't going to listen to people anymore, I was going to make up my own rules, and forget all the rest.

So people noticed that I was, well I guess what they all called me, 'a bitch'. Then I made up a lot of big mistakes, and as I grew older, and the years went by, I had hurt a lot of people, but while they were happening I didn't care about peoples feeling and I didn't give a damn that they were rude and insensitive, but I now know that they weren't the nicest things in the world to do.

I mean I'm now seventeen years old, and I have had sex with eight people, and I've raped like three people, more than once, like I mean several times. Oh, and don't get me started on how many times I've cheated on people. Like let's say a billion. I never really even liked any of the people I've hurt, I just used them to have someone, because even though I acted like I liked to be alone I didn't, I always felt like I needed someone to not be with forever but just to be with, but I also took advantage of them.

I lost my virginity pretty much as soon as I entered the school, and I kind of became a what people call a, 'sex addict,' And I've never really had like any true friends before, and just really no one who liked me, but I just ignored all that, I had gotten so used to having thick skin and not caring that it just become a way of life for me, and I still tend to be that way.

But although all this was bad and all; I'm confused right now, because my stupid like badass attitude that I had come so accustomed to is getting in the way of my previous relationship, and I don't want it to ruin this relationship, because I think it's actually a good one and I don't want to ruin it. But before, I jump the bullet, I need to talk about how I came to be with the person that I'm with now.


	2. The Beginning

Chapter 2

**The Beginning**

So it was about two years ago when this whole thing happened. It was really crazy, but I like the outcome of it, I just HATED the process of it all.

So I was in my fifth year at school, and I was dating this girl at the time, except I wasn't really dating her because mainly I just used her, by raping her, or cheating on her with the same ex-girlfriend I used to have. And as time went by, I just for some weird reason started feeling somewhat bad for using not only those two girls but just all of my past relationships, and it just seemed like I could never do anything right. I then one day just kind of showed that I had something troubling me, and people asked what was wrong, but I just didn't want to tell anyone, but they wouldn't stop bugging me, especially the guys in my own house they would always bother me to tell them.

I wanted to tell someone, not that I was using people because I knew the whole school knew that, but that I was feeling bad about it, I just knew no one would take me seriously, and think it was a big joke, but I just felt like I needed to tell, I don't know why.

So I started thinking of people I could tell. It couldn't be anyone in my own house because I knew they would just blab. And then I started thinking about people that weren't in my own house that I knew, or talked to once in a while. And someone I could trust not to tell anyone.

And then I thought of these two guys I talked to because the school would hold a lot of party get together events with all the houses, and no adults, which was cool, it was stupid but cool. I of course always took my girlfriend, and the first time we went to one of the parties, we met up with her sister who looks a lot like her, and one of there friends, and then later both of there boyfriends came. And I recognized both of them, but never really talked to them before. Their friends boyfriends name was Oliver Wood, which he was older than all of us, and then my girlfriends sisters boyfriends name was Harry Potter. Which, yeah I knew of him, but again I never really talked to any of them, although I did like at first want to befriend him when I first arrived but he said no, I guess he was to wrapped up with his weirdo friends at the time, and we kind of went our own separate ways, and I got to wrapped up in my bad boy image.

But that night we ended up talking again, because the girls just kind of formed together and talked leaving us guys alone. In fact I kind of talked to him more than Oliver because well he was nice but he was really boring, he just kind of sat there and didn't really talk much.

That night ended and whenever a school party would come up, we would always just repeat that first night, but then one night, well let's just say that I think we all just drank way to much, especially Harry, because we like at first had this like dance off type of thing, I don't know what possessed us to do that, but we did. And like I said we were like drunk out of our minds, and we start like getting in a fight type thing, I don't know what about, but it definitely caused a scene, and everyone looked over to see what all the commotion was about, and like right when we had absolutely everyone's attention, Harry just literally pukes everywhere, it was so gross, but so hilarious.

And from that day on I would always call him puke face, whenever I saw him like in the hallway or anything, I would yell it so everyone would here, and I guess everyone else wanted to join in, because after about a week of me doing that, a bunch of people would to start call him that.

But back to when I was needing someone to tell, I thought of both Oliver and Harry. But I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable telling Oliver because I didn't really know him that well so why should he know me. Then I thought Harry and thought we kind of knew each other and he didn't talk to that many people. So I made up my mind that I was going to tell him.

It was rather late at night but I made my way down to the hall and arrived at the front of the Gryffindor door. I knocked, and it wasn't too long till someone answered. It was thankfully him, that way I didn't have to talk explain myself to why I was wanting to talk to him to someone else.

"Draco?" he said looking really tired.

"Hey,"

"What the hell are you doing here especially so freakin' late." He asked looking at a near by clock.

"Um," I said, but then wondered why the heck he was still up and in the common room. "Why are you still up?"

"Well," he said I guess following for the whole reverse the question thing. "I was studying and fell asleep and..." he then look up, still confused.

"Why are you here this late, you didn't even answer." Crap he noticed, come to think of it I wasn't ready to tell anyone.

"Umm, Never mind." I said as I turned around to leave.

"Wait," he said, I turned around, "What's wrong, I mean I doubt you came all the way down here to just see why I'm still up."

"Just forget it," I said so just wanting to leave.

"Well is there something that you were wanting to talk to someone about, I mean I don't mind getting them for you."

"Actually, I was kind of wanting to talk to you about something, but it 's stupid, so I'll just go."

And as I turned around to leave again, he said in a get over the sympathy act toned voice, "Draco, get in here."

So I decided, what the hell, so I walked inside, and went to a nearby couch and sat down.

"Okay," Harry said, shutting the door, and coming over and sitting in a chair across from the couch I was on. "So what's up?"

"Uhh, I know this may be kind of random, but I got something that I've got to tell someone, and it's kind of embarrassing for me, but you know how I've taken advantage of your girlfriends sister."

"Yeah," he said shaking his head.

"Well, I know I act like I don't care and all, but, the truth is that lately I have been feeling, I don't know I guess guilty about it all. And I can't tell anyone because I'm not like that, I'm not someone who cares, I mean people would think I'm making it all up anyway. And they would take it as a big joke, and laugh, and be immature about it."

"Okay," he said sounding really understanding, but I didn't think he would understand but maybe.

"So yeah, I just had to tell someone, but could you please not tell anyone, cause it would just be weird."

It took him a while to answer, it looked like he was coming up with something. "Okay, before I agree with this, I'll make a deal with you, I won't tell anyone as long as you stop talking crap about me all the time."

I thought about it for a second and thought that was pretty fair.

"Yeah, sure, totally."

"Okay, is that all you need."

"Uh, yeah," I said now getting up, "thanks a lot."

"No problem," he said and we didn't say another word, and I just went back to my dorm room.

The next day seemed pretty normal, and during break I was hanging out with a lot of the Slytherine guys in my house. Then I was in a conversation with one guy, and then I heard a bunch of the others yell, 'puke face,' I looked over to see what was going on, and I saw that Harry was trying to make his way past the courtyard but was stopped by our group and they were as usual calling him names. And then I thought, 'hey I told this guy I wouldn't give him crap anymore,' but I also thought I should stop when others are rude as well. So like an idiot, I yelled, "Hey, Don't call him that."

OH MY GOSH!!!! everyone just froze, I mean that would be weird if someone starts a rude joke and then out of the sky blue just stops.

And everyone who was outside at the time heard me, and they all thought it was strange. Then everyone remembered that I had something that was bothering me. And this random guy, in the Hufflepuff house, named Justin Flenchly, came over breaking the pause on the outside world, literally just grabbing my arm and pulling me far away from everyone, to where they were barely in sight.

"What the hell," I said, confused but pissed that everyone took it so damn serious.

"I know what your secret is." He said.

"What are you talking about I don't have a fucking secret."

"Yeah, you do, that thing that was bothering you but you couldn't tell anyone."

"That's not a secret, that was just something called a bad day, and I didn't feel like talking about it then."

"Then what was it that was bothering you." He said crossing his arms looking cocky.

Crap, I didn't want to tell him, hell I didn't even know him.

"It's none of your damn business," I said.

"Okay," he said beginning to turn around, "then let's go back and you can tell one of you Slytherine friends."

Uh, I didn't want to do that either.

"Okay," I said giving in, "what do you think my 'secret' is."

He turned around smiling, "Okay, this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to say a couple of guesses and you say yes to what it is."

"Okay," I said, I mean even if he guessed it, I'll just say no.

He then started, he said, "are you gay with Harry,"

I was like, "EWW, no way, that's so disgusting!" But yet, although I thought that was gross, I thought it was kind of funny that, that's what he thought just because I backed Harry up, I wondered how many other people thought of that, and kind of smirked at all the idiots that might have.

He then guessed a lot more, and I answered no to them all, cause obviously they weren't true. Then he said in a sarcastic sad voice, "What do you feel bad about using girls." Then he laughed as if it would be the funniest thing in the world.

Holy crap, he just guessed it, but I just kept a straight face on and said, "No," then I asked, "Hey, what would you think if I did any of the above?"

He then said, "Well," he started, "if you where feeling guilty about all the stuff you did to those girls, well, I'd say," he said as he started to laugh, " that it would be completely impossible, and really not believable."

Shit how was I supposed to say, yeah that's what it is.

Then he said how it would be with all the above crap, and then he said, "If you were gay I would think that's cute and everyone would support you."

Yeah, that was weird, but just everyone knows, that Justin was gay and everyone would new that. So I wasn't that weirded out when he said he thought it'd be cute. But I started laughing at how lame he sounded. But I was tired of this whole conversation, and didn't want him to guess the truth, so I just turned around and walked back to the group I was with.

But little did I know that me laughing and walking away from Justin, was agreeing to the whole are you gay question. So after that Justin spread the rumor around to the whole school.

xxxxxx

Okay, so that was the second chapter, and quiet frankly I'm very proud of it. I summarized the past and finally got to the point, so I think the stories picking up quiet nicely. So please review.

Thanks much♥


	3. Rumor Backfires

Chapter 3

**Rumor Backfires**

So back to what I was saying, so that Justin guy thought that me laughing and walking away was saying yes to if I was gay or not. Then as I was just a couple of feet away from my friends, I feel someone grab my arm again. It was Justin, Great.

"What know," I said making sure that he knew that I was very annoyed of him by now.

"Why don't you tell people."

"Tell people what?" I asked not thinking he'd think of me being gay to seriously.

"About you and Harry of course." He said, smiling really goofy like.

And although I probably should have told him right then and there that it wasn't true, I just decided to make it seem like he was right, and then later I could humiliate him when he would tell everyone and then I'd tell them that he was wrong it would embarrass him in front of everyone. So I told him that I didn't want to tell people, cause that was true.

I mean I couldn't tell people a lie, it would be stupid, and plus Harry would have been furious that I would say something like that. But then I decided that I really wanted to humiliate Justin, so I saw Harry finally making his way across the court yard. And I decided to let him in on the joke, so he wouldn't get pissed if Justin were to mention it to him.

I made my way over and said, "Harry, wait up."

He turned around and said, "Oh, um, thanks for that back there, sorry if it embarrassed you in front of your friends." He said looking back at the group of guys who were still laughing and pointing fingers at him, as if he couldn't see.

"Oh, no" I said reassuringly, "that's fine, we made a deal, and I don't care what those guys think anyway."

"Okay, well thanks again," he said as he started to turn around to go back inside.

"Oh, wait," I said taking a few steps forward to follow but stepped back as he abruptly turned around.

"What?"

"Um, you know that guy Justin whatever." I said pointing to Justin who was doing something weird near a tree.

"Uh, yeah, why?" Harry said looking at Justin disgusted.

"Well, he wanted to know what it was that was bothering me, and you won't believe what insane guess he came up with."

"What?" Harry said, pulling his bag up so it wouldn't fall off his shoulder, as I'm sure it was heavy.

"Uh, well," I said wondering how to word it, "uhh, he thinks that my 'secret' so he calls it, is that I guess he thinks this because I backed you up, but he thinks that." I started laughing just a little, just cause I remembered how retarded it sounded.

"What?" Harry asked sounding like he just had to know.

"Uhh, he thinks that were, 'an item,'" I said making quotations with my hands. I then started laughing, hoping he would laugh as well, which he did, but then he stopped and said.

"Wow, what an idiot," he said referring to Justin. "You did correct him right?"

UHHHHH. Crap I wonder if he'd get mad with the fact that I didn't.

"Uhhh, not really?"

"What?" he yelled sounding really pissed off. But I immediately went into my explanation, so he wouldn't yell and cause another scene.

"Okay, I didn't tell because I thought that, a) if I had said no he may have narrowed it down to what it really was, and b,) because I thought it would be a good way to embarrass him in front of everyone," He looked at me still confused. So I decide to go deeper into my explanation. "You know kind of like payback for getting in my business in the first place. And I just wanted to give you the heads up, so you wouldn't freak out if Justin mentioned it to you. But if it's weird for you then I'll go tell him the truth."

"Oh, okay," he said. "Um, I guess it would be alright to get back at him, I mean after all you kept your word and I guess it wouldn't hurt."

"Are you sure it's alright." I asked, "I mean it won't be that long.

"Yeah, totally, it's fine, weird, but fine."

"Okay, well I guess I'll see you later, a'ight." I said turning back around to go talk to the guys again.

Okay, quick note, if you ever tell a lie don't cover it up with more lies, because then telling the truth will make you look and feel stupid. And it just messes your life up.

Okay, so that Justin guy was so hung up on me telling everyone that lie, and he even went up to Harry, like I thought he would, trying to convince him that it was okay to tell people. He even asked each of us how long we had been together. And I would always think. 'Oh my God dude you are so weird, stupid, and gullible, if you actually believe that shit.' Harry and I would just kind of laugh about the whole thing.

And after a couple of days, we decided it was enough, because we thought he would have been more than happy to embarrass himself by telling everyone that day he pulled me aside, but he I guess didn't want to do that, and thought that it should be our responsibility to tell people, and I knew that none of us were going to do that, cause the joke was supposed to be on him, not on us.

So after a couple of days of him nagging us, we decided that we needed to draw the line, and tell the truth. So one day at dinner, Justin came over to me as I entered the Great Hall, and he said. "Okay, this is the perfect opportunity, I mean the whole school's in here, just stand up at the teachers table, and tell everyone, I'd be perfect."

"Okay," I said putting my hand up to tell him to stop it. "Just shut up, Now we are both sick and tired of you telling us to tell people, and just so you know, that whole stupid, 'secret,' that you guessed isn't even true."

I finally finished, hoping he would get the message, and just drop the whole thing. But he just started laughing and shaking his head.

"What's so funny," I asked, "do you feel stupid that you believed me, well you should."

"No," he answered still laughing. "I just think it's funny how scared you are to tell people. I mean I was scared myself when I first came out, but if it's that embarrassing for you then..."

I thought he would say something like, 'well then I'll drop it, or stop bothering ya'll,' but living my life you never get off that easy, and he really said, "I'd be more than happy to tell everyone for you."

Crap that so wasn't what I wanted, then I said, "look dude, what part of what you thought was a lie, that means it's not true, you were just so stupid that you believed it, but it's getting old, so just forget the whole thing, 'ight !"

I didn't want to hear another word that loser had to say so I just walked past him, and

shoved him out of my way.

I then made my way to the Slytherine table, and just about a couple of seconds into sitting there. I heard someone at the teachers table call out. "Excuse me everyone, but may I please have your attention."

I looked up, and guess who I saw standing there with his hands closed, and a big smile on his face, looking like he was going to give a sermon, or something. Yeah, it was stupid Justin.

"Great," I sighed, putting my elbow on the table and my hand on my forehead, but under my hair, and turning my face down at my plate, while mixing my food.

"Mr. Flenchly," came the head masters voice, "what exactly are you doing."

"Oh, it won't take long professor, I would just like to make an announcement real quick, I promise you'll want to know what it is."

"Proceed then," the headmaster said.

"While thank you professor, now I'm sure everyone knows of Draco Malfoy, who is in the Slytherine house," and after he said that, I could feel everybody in the rooms eyes fall on me, but I just continued to look at my food, acting like I couldn't hear anything, wishing I wasn't there.

"Well," Justin continued, "I'm also sure that everybody remembers about a week ago Mr. Malfoy had something troubling him, and he wouldn't tell anyone," then there was a pause, but it was just for a couple of seconds as I heard that Justin started pacing back and forth across the floor making sure that his message was getting around to every table, and every student sitting at them.

"Well," he continued, "it just so happens that I had a conversation not to long ago with Mr. Malfoy, and although he was still reluctant to tell me his secret, he allowed me to try to guess what it was. And it happens that I guessed it on the first try."

As I sat there and heard everything he said, I started to get pissed off, and tightened my grip on my fork and stabbed it through a stray grape, imagining it as Justine's face.

"I came to my expectation of what might have been his problem, because the other day out in the court yard Mr. Malfoy had defended someone who he's made fun of for a couple of months now, and like everyone else who was there that witnessed that event, I wondered why he had done this act. But then it hit me. You see the person he had defended that day was none other than, our very own, Harry Potter."

Crap, I was so pissed cause I knew that he was going to say the whole gay thing, but I didn't look up, I didn't want to see anyone's expression, and I knew Harry was probably just as pissed off at Justin as I was, I wonder if he was going to say anything, if he did then I would, but until then, as far as I'm concerned, I'm not even here, I'm just all by myself and nothing was happening, I didn't want to face reality right now.

"Yes, I know a good majority of you Slytherines remember that event, but I'm sure your still wondering why Mr. Malfoy randomly decided to back up Mr. Potter. Well, it's because I'm still not sure on how long this has been going on, or even when it started, but I have learned recently that it seems that Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter, are indeed an item."

At the same time he finished the last word, everybody, including the teachers all gasped.

"Now I know everybody may be confused to why I'm up here telling you this news, but as all of you can see, both Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter are still a bit shy on telling everybody, so I thought I'd make it easier for them."

"You are such a dumbass." I said still looking down, but I said this loud enough so everyone could see. Then I thought this would be when I embarrass the crap out of this guy, I then laughed a little and then looked up for the first time, since his speech.

"You actually think that was true," I said smirking and shaking my head at how dumb he was. I then decided to get up and join Justin up on the stage. I walked straight up to him, and had this whole conversation in front of everyone, and loudly, so everyone could see how dumb he was.

"Look, dumbass," I started, "just like I've told you a thousand times before, what you guessed was wrong, and that's why neither of us have been stupid enough to actually stand up here and embarrass the hell out of ourselves, I wouldn't be ashamed to stand in front of all these people and tell them anything **that was true**."

I had gotten so caught up in the moment of embarrassing the hell out of Justin that I wasn't really caring about what I had said, until he smirked and said,

"Well then if that wasn't what was bothering you, and since your not ashamed to tell everyone, then please go ahead and say, this is the perfect opportunity," Then he got right up in my face, "Don't you think?"

And then I realized that it was either going to have to admit to something that was completely false, and embarrassing someone else, or admitting to what I was originally ashamed of. But then as I looked at everyone staring at me I came up with an idea, and turned back to Justin with a big smile on.

"Yeah, about that, that's also where you will look stupid at, because," and then I turned to everyone and said, "in fact you'll all look stupid, because, there was nothing troubling me in the first place." I then turned to Justin and went back and forth from him to the students. "I was just wanting attention, I wanted everyone to ask me what was wrong, and I wanted to see how many idiots would actually think that there was something wrong with me. If I had known you would make up a bunch of shit about me, then I would have never done it in the first place."

I then looked at everyone with a, 'ha, I fooled you all.' kind of look.

"Hold on a second," Justin said, I turned around as he was rubbing his chin as if pondering on something.

"What," I said, not worried about what he was going to say.

"So if what I guessed wasn't true, and if you had nothing to hide in the first place, then I think the only explanation that about everyone wants to know is why did you defend Mr. Potter that day."

Oh, my gosh, this guy was really annoying, especially how he tried to sound all professional by calling us by our sir name. But I wasn't worried at all about the question.

"Okay, first of all, his name is Harry, and second when did it become a crime to be nice to someone."

Once, that came out I realized that it sounded like I was backing Harry up again, and for me to be 'nice' to someone, although it wasn't a crime, everyone even me knew how weird that was.

But I didn't feel like messing with the situation anymore, so I looked at Justin and moved my eyebrows, as if I had just proven a point, although I knew I didn't, but that's how I wanted to look, and maybe people would have been so lost with what was going on, that when they saw me leaving like that, they would think that I had proven him wrong, and hopefully people would look at him for what he was which was an idiot.

But even though this whole thing was to make Justin look stupid, as I went back to my seat, I felt like the stupid one, and I looked up at the Gryffindor table, where it was obvious that Harry had also felt stupid as well, because he, like me, was looking down at his plate, probably wishing he wasn't there as well, why did I feel like this joke backfired on us.

And for Justin's ending speech, all he said was, "Exactly."

xxxxxxx

Yeah, so that was the third chapter, I hope you enjoyed it, it will probably be a while until I post another chapter because I'm going to go on Christmas break, for two weeks and my computer at home isn't working right now, but I will be typing several chapters hopefully during the break, which is two whole weeks, so I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Years, but please review.

Thanks much♥


	4. Making The Lie True

Chapter 4

**Making The Lie True.**

So even though I thought that I had made it apparent to everyone that Justin's stupid announcement was not true, I guess I was wrong, because people still asked me if it was true or not, and I would always tell them that it wasn't. And then it seemed as if I could finally live my life in peace and quite, because for a while people finally shuted up about it, little did I know that Justin had come up with an even bigger rumor and something that was completely not true, it was worse than the rumor before.

I was making my way down the hallway to get to one of my classes, when I felt as if everyone kept staring at me, I looked over and I was right because, there were a bunch of mixed kids just huddled together laughing, and pointing fingers at me. I was wondering what the hell was so funny.

So I went up to them, and asked, "Hey, guys, what's so funny." and they just continued laughing.

Oooookaaaaay, I thought, what the hell.

"Okay, seriously could someone please let me in on the joke." and then this girl that I didn't really know came up to me and said,

"Okay, you know Justin's announcement that one day."

Great I thought, not this again. "Yeah," I answered rolling my eyes.

"Well," she said, "he kind of told everyone something more, and I think it's kind of cute."

What the heck was this girl talking about.

"I don't get it." I said very annoyed by now.

"Well, you know how he just said that you and Harry were an item?"

Ohmigod, are you kidding me, I couldn't believe this subject was coming up again.

"Yeah, but..." and before I could tell her that it wasn't true, like I told everyone for the ump tenth time, this guy who was apparently gay himself called out behind me, "Way to go Malfoy."

WTF?

"Anyway," I said, shaking my head in annoyance, " that whole rumor thing wasn't true, like I'm dead serious, it's getting really annoying."

"Awww," the girl said putting her hand to her chest, "that's so cute," she said as if she were talking to a puppy dog. "You don't have to deny it, everyone knows you two have been hooking up, and having sex, and everything."

EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

"WHAT THE HELL." I yelled, "is that what Justin said?"

"Yep," the girl said, " and I don't think it's anything either of you should be ashamed of."

But I was furious, and stormed off to go find and yell at Justin, and like everywhere I went people made stupid comments like, 'way to go Malfoy,' or 'lucky you,' or shit like that, and every time I heard someone say something like that, I would yell, "It's not true." But it was obvious no one believed me.

But before I could continue my search for Justin I realized, I had only a couple seconds before I was late to class. So I decided to let it go for now, and get to class. Which I knew wouldn't be easy, because guess who also had that class as well, no it wasn't Justin, but Harry, yeah I know _awkward._

So I entered the Potions class late, because when I had realized that I needed to get to class I was on the complete other side of the school, and it's not like I would run to get to class on time, so I just took my sweet time.

When I entered, everyone turned around to notice, as I past everyone in there seats to get to my seat which was stupidly in the front of the class, there were the same old remarks, and snickering, but I didn't pay them no mind.

"So glad you could join us Mr. Malfoy." Professor Snape, said, "Don't let it happen again."

"Yes, sir." I answered.

The class seemed extra long that day, and when I had finished my potion, and had turned it in, I noticed that there was fifteen long minutes left. Damn. So I decided to just relax and not talk to anyone, so I decided to make it look like I was taking a nap, so then people wouldn't bother me.

So I laid my head down, when I started thinking of all the lame rumors that were going around, and then for some strange reason I came up with an idea that I thought would make it all just go away.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had reached in my bag for a piece of parchment. The next thing I knew I was heading out the door right when the bell rang, from just throwing the parchment on Harry's desk as I left.

I had wrote a letter that said:

_Yo, Harry, _

_I know this is going to sound crazy, but you know all the rumors and stuff going around, well I was thinking, and I was wondering if it would be okay with you if we did what people are saying we did. _

_If you agree then meet me in the room of requirements later tonight, around 7:00, if you don't then don't ever mention this to me, 'aight. Peace._

Yeah, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this, I mean I know what Justin and everyone was saying was a lie, but I guess I was trying to make the lie the truth, which was the stupidest idea that I ever came up with. I mean if some things a lie you don't make it true, it's like as if someone says that you're a serial killer, you don't go out and become one. But I guess I just wasn't thinking.

xxxxxxx

So that night after dinner around 6:30, I went to the room of requirements, and I guess I was waiting for him to get there. I wanted him there so I could get it over with, but I didn't want him there so maybe that way I wouldn't have to do it.

Well a little while later he came. He let himself in and let me just say that it was very awkward.

"Hey," he said, as he stepped in and shut the door behind him.

'What's up?" I said trying to sound casual.

"Um, so," he said looking around kind of confused still. "This is weird." He ended up saying.

"Yeah, I know," I said, so relieved that he said that, so we could just forget the whole thing.

"Sorry about the note thing that was lame, I wasn't even thinking when I wrote it, well let's just forget this whole thing happened 'aight." I said, as I stepped forward to get to the door to exit.

Just as I had put my hand on the door knob he said, "Actually, that wasn't what I meant."

What?

"What?" I said taking my hand off the knob and turned around to face him. He just stood there. "What do you mean that wasn't what you meant?" I asked, letting my anger out just a little.

"Well," he said turning his face around so he was looking away, " I didn't mean that it was weird that I didn't want to do it anymore," and then he whipped his head around immediately and said, " I mean it's not like I want to do it, it's just that I don't mind doing it, if you don't mind, but if it's weird for you then we don't have to, I mean it's not like I'd be thrilled if we did, and it's not like I'd be depressed if we didn't, you know, I mean..."

I started laughing, cause it was funny how he was trying to word everything, and he was running all his sentences together, and it was just funny.

"Gaw, calm down," I said, lowering my hands.

"Sorry," he said, "it's just that this is, I guess weird isn't the best word, but it's different, I mean I don't know about you but I've never done this before."

"Yeah, I know, and no I've never done this before either. But I think that there is something that could make it a little bit easier."

I had thought, 'what is something that could make things easier. Like what is something people do to make everything less painful, and then I remembered. Getting drunk duh.'

I told Harry, and since it's the Room of Requirements, I had thought of this before hand so before I had entered the room, I had asked for a refrigerator filled with beer.

So Harry and I had both decided, 'if, we had to do this, then we didn't want to remember it.' So we got drunk.

But I don't know about him, but I guess I didn't get drunk enough maybe just a little tipsy. I say this because, although I don't remember everything, I do remember bits and pieces.

All I really remember was that he was on top of me while I was bent over facing the floor. And then next all I remember was THE worst, most painful feeling I had felt in my life.

xxxxxxx

Then the next thing I remembered was I woke up alone, and I felt really stupid and disgusted. It was about seven in the morning, and I had about an hour to get back in the Slytherine house, so no one would get suspicious. I thankfully got there in time and no one suspected anything.

It was although weird going to hang out with them outside. And it just felt weird with just everyone being around.

And it seemed as if no one cared about Harry and me anymore, I felt like I did that for nothing.

And then I remembered at one time, I was acting as if nothing happened, because honestly I didn't even know if Harry had remembered, because he might have been completely drunk to where he might not have remembered anything, but I remember that I had felt someone staring at me, and I looked up from talking to a bunch of people when I see Harry looking at me from a distance, and I look back wondering if he remembered and something in me just knew that he did, but I just continued to look back and act like I didn't know.

And although I had felt bad about using my girlfriend, I was about to cheat on her again with someone else. Oh, and no I don't look at the night before as cheating, I just looked at it as proving something.

xxxxxxx

Later that night, I had gone back to the room of requirements around the same time, and I found myself just waiting. I don't know what for, I guess for him even though I didn't tell or ask him to come.

A part of me was like, 'Why are you waiting around, you didn't tell him to come, he doesn't even no your in here, and nor would he care if he did. You do know he's a guy right, and a friend. You can't actually see yourself with a guy, let alone him.'

But another part was like, 'He'll be here, you just want to know if he remembers, even though you know, you need to hear him say it, and maybe if he didn't remember, since it didn't work anyway, maybe you could re-do it."

And both parts were just like fighting away in my head, like a little devil and angel like in the movies. Before I could even think on which side I was going to agree with, I heard a knock on the door.

'Crap, don't answer it, you don't care who it is.'

'No, it won't hurt to see who it is, maybe it's him, you need to know the answer.'

And before my brain could argue anymore, I just opened the door, and there he was, just standing on the opposite side of the door that had earlier separated us.

_Eee! _My heart leapt but I didn't know why.

"Hey, what are you wanting?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant about it but probably failing miserably.

"Um," he said, "I was kind of just wondering something. I went to the Slytherine house, and you weren't there, so I thought maybe you were in here."

"Oh, okay. So what was it you were wondering." I said, still standing in the door way.

"Oh," he said, but before he said what it was, he looked around, as if making sure no one was around. "Um, is it okay, if I come in?" He asked.

_Eee! _"Uh, sure," I said, as I stepped back away from the door, and then once he entered I shut the door. I then turned around to ask again what it was he wanted but he just jumped right in with what it was.

"I was just wondering if you remembered anything about what happened, and if you do then what all do you remember?"

I don't really remember everything word for word but we had both told the little that we remembered which wasn't much.

Then I said, "Sucks it didn't work though."

(We had sat down at this table thing sitting next to each other. The table was in there the night before, we just didn't use it. The room was the exact same from the night before, it was kind of like half a kitchen/bedroom, cause far in the corner was a big double sized bed. But again we didn't use that last night either, in fact really the only thing we did use was just the refrigerator and the floor. But anyway, back to the story.)

"Yeah, I know," he said, but then he looked up at me and said, "But what exactly was supposed to change?"

Crap I didn't know that, I STILL have no idea, So I answered honestly, I said, "I have no idea."

But then I thought of something, you know that thing the part of my brain said, that since it didn't work out the first time, maybe we could re-do it, I wanted to mention this to him, but I didn't know how. But I gave it a try anyway.

"But, maybe," I said, so freakin' nervous at this time.

I admit it there was something in me wanting to re-do it, but would he understand, I didn't want to sound gay.

But this is gay to say, why am I wanting to? I'm not gay, I fuck women not men, I'm a fucking P.I.M.P, there not gay, why did I feel this way?

'Just say it and get it over with, if he judges me, let him, I don't care.'

I started over, "I mean, maybe if we do it again something would change."

'OKAY, I said it, it's over,...What the hell was he looking at, he was just staring at the damn refrigerator. Did he even hear me? Don't you dare make me repeat myself, cause I won't. You don't listen, then you don't need to know. You should have paid attention to begin with if you really wanted to know.'

"I have a question," he said not taking his eyes off fridge. "Would we drink again." he asked pointing to the fridge.

"If you want," I said.

Then he finally turned to face me.

'Turn around, why are you looking at me? Stop your making me feel uncomfortable.'

"Would it be okay, if we didn't?" he asked still looking at me.

SAY WHAT? He didn't want to. That's weird, it's just plain bizarre. I mean this is the guy who lives on alcohol, why didn't he want to get drunk?

"I guess," I said, "but don't you like to get drunk." I asked, really wondering why he didn't want to. I mean perfect opportunity to right here.

"Because," he said finally looking down, " I kind of think that if we remember it, maybe we would notice if anything changes."

I didn't understand that. But by the way he was looking down, and looking nervous, something told me that he just made it up, and was hoping to get away with it without me noticing and laughing at him.

"Yeah, okay," I said.

Then he looked back up at me, looking relieved. I guess at the fact that I didn't make fun of that stupid excuse.

And then as we just sat there looking at each other for that couple of seconds, I felt an urge inside me. I don't know what I was thinking, I just felt like doing something to break the ice, the awkwardness, so before I even knew what I was doing or even who I was doing it to, I leant over to kiss, but before my lips had reached the destination, I felt two warm lips on top of mine.

Random. I didn't expect that. Usually when I kiss someone, I kiss them and then they join in but I hadn't even got there before he joined.

And then I felt his mouth open and at first I thought that the kiss was over and thought he was going to pull back. But I didn't want it to be over yet, I wasn't ready so before he got the chance to pull back, I immediately opened my mouth and before thinking about it I slipped my tongue inside the opening and found his tongue, which at first was still, I guess startled by the quick entry, but soon it moved and entered my mouth and we just sat there making out.

And about twenty seconds into it, I finally realized who it was.

'Oh my God, What are you doing? This is So fucking wrong, and disgusting. Stop it"... "Stop it"... "Stop now"... But I couldn't. This was so deep, and patinate, it feels so good.

And then he put his hand around my waist, while getting up out of his chair, and I followed. And when I got up, I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

And I don't know how he knew where he was going but he eventually lead us into the bedroom part of the room. But the whole time we bumped into walls, but I didn't care, nothing was going to ruin this wonderful moment.

And then once we were in front of the bed, I fell on my back to the bed with him on top of me. And then his lips pulled away from me, but I was to slow at stopping them.

He looked down at me, both of us breathing heavily.

I looked up at him. 'Oh my gosh, this can't be happening, its so wrong. Get up, leave, tell him to get the hell out. You don't want this.'

'Yes, I do, it's exactly what I want, I want to remember.'

"Are you sure you actually want to do this?" Harry's voice broke in thankfully shutting up the voices in my mind.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said.

And then to show that I was for sure, I took my shirt off, but then because I didn't really want him to see my stuff, I moved under the covers and when I did he stood up. I got under the covers and took my pants off.

He just stood by the side of the bed, and I felt stupid being the only one naked, So, I looked up at him and told him to take his clothes off. I thought he would have done it how I did but he unexpectedly just took off his shirt and undid his pant and just dropped them to the floor.

OH MY GOD! That was so unexpected. Why did he just do it so freely as if it was nothing, I mean God that was so weird. I couldn't really see anything, just the outline of him because no light s were on a couple in the kitchen, but that was it. So it wasn't really the fact that I had to see his stuff that shocked me, it was that he just did it as if we had done it several times before.

Then he finally got in the bed and under the covers.

Then he asked again, "Are you sure?"

'No, you changed your mine, you can't actually go through with this, your just being stupid, there's no way in hell you could actually do this. Get up and leave.'

'Shut up, it's not that bad, just do it, don't think of the future, you can face it later. All that matters is now, try it you'll never know until you try.'

'God, this was so fucking confusing, fuck it just do it, get it over with.'

"Yeah, I'm sure." I said. And yeah, I was to drunk to really remember our first time of having sex, but I'm not going to lie, I do remember our second time.

Then he got on top of me, like he did before, except this time with no clothes. But I moved slightly to the side to where his leg was on top of mine, but so that way our privates wouldn't touch.

He then bent down and we just automatically started making out again, and then as I was to preoccupied in drowning in the kiss, I hadn't noticed Harry had repositioned himself. Until I felt something big, long, and hard press against my groin.

Merlin, although it was totally unexpected, and completely different from anything I had ever felt before, I couldn't help it, I couldn't lie to myself, it felt so freakin' good. And I immediately got hard myself. And then I tried to push him away because I didn't want him to feel that. I mean I didn't want him to know that what he did felt good to me. But as I tried to push him away, he stopped kissing me, and looked at me, and asked.

"Are you okay?"

I hadn't really wanted him to notice that I was trying to pull away.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I said in a way lying. I mean I was okay physically, but mentally I was a train wreck, I just wasn't sure about this whole thing.

"We can stop whenever you want," he offered, " I don't want to force this on you."

"No, I"m fine." I said not wanting to leave no matter how much I kept debating with myself.

And with that he bent down once more filling in the space between us, as we continued kissing.

Then again as I was lost in ecstacy, I felt the same big, long, and hard thing push against my groin. But this time I didn't even try to push away. I just let it happen. Then he started pushing it up against mine, and soon I joined in. We then quickened our past, and it felt so good.

We started going faster and faster, and increased in every second. And then I knew I was ready, and I came, and right when I did so did he. So although we didn't really enter into each other, we just rubbed or stuff together until we came.

And then right when we finished, Harry didn't roll off of me or anything, he instead looked at me and said the most unexpected thing. "I love you."

UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so not expecting that, and I didn't know what to say, so instead I just leaned up and connected my mouth once more with his. It worked cause after making out for a while, he finally rolled off to the side of me. THANK GOD I didn't have to say anything back.

Then we just laid next to each other, and I remember it was just really peaceful laying there and I wanted to stay there forever. But you know how it goes, all good things must come to an end.

"We got to get back." Harry said removing his arm from behind me.

"Oh, yeah, right." I said, forgetting what was going on.

We then got up and put our clothes on, and we didn't really say anything to each other, but I was wondering what was going to happen after this, I mean was that it. So when I saw him heading for the door, I said.

"So, what's going to happen now."

He then turned around, "um, I don't know, I thought that's why we did this whole thing was to see what happened."

"Well, are we ever going to talk about the changes or anything, if there are any?" I asked, I don't know why I sounded so desperate.

"If you want." He said. "If you do ever want to come back here for any reason, then just tell me alright, and I'll do the same."

"Okay." I said feeling more satisfied with the answer.

I don't know why I did any of the things we had done, I don't know maybe it was because Justin and just everyone got to me or what. But what was bugging me the most was why did I even want it anyway, and why did I feel like I wanted more of it?

xxxxxxx

I am Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooetc. Sorry that It took so long for me to post this chapter, I had a pretty crazy weekend, with no access to the internet for two weeks, and then getting really extremely sick, it wasn't the best, but I'm glad that it's finally posted, and again I'm sorry it took so damn long to post, but thanks for waiting patiently.

Wow, sorry about that chapter being so dang long, I didn't mean for it to be that long. But I hope it was good. Don't forget to please review, and tell me what you think.

Thanks much♥


	5. Life Changing Sex

Chapter 5

**Life Changing Sex**

So the next day, guess what? Absolutely nothing changed. But this time I didn't care. I mean yeah I wasn't thrilled that people just stopped with the rumors, but maybe that was what was supposed to happen. But really I didn't care, and obviously neither did Harry.

We had continued to go back revisiting the room of requirements, and just being together, but none of us ever told anyone. I liked it a lot, it was like our own little secret, and it was something that no one had to know about.

We could only see each other a couple of days, and on the other days that we weren't together we were with our girlfriends. Or at least I was. But the good thing is that Harry had left his girlfriend, he didn't give her an excuse or anything I guess he just told her he didn't like her anymore, and she believed him.

But I couldn't just get up and leave my girlfriend, I mean this may sound twisted but I had really gotten to like her. I mean I had already put her through SO much bullshit already in our relationship, I couldn't find it in me to tell her that I wanted to leave her for a guy. And really I wasn't even sure if I was ready to leave her especially for a guy. That would be so lame of a reason, and really I didn't want to see her reaction to it. So I went through a confusion time at this point, because when I would talk to Harry about it he made it sound so easy to just leave her, and he made it seem like such an easy decision. But then I would go tell her that it was over, and it seemed so difficult to. She seemed so like innocent, and all the shit that I had put her through would re-play in my mind, and I just couldn't. But eventually she noticed something was up. She knew that there was something bothering me. (I know that's one of my problems, I can never hide my emotions, even till this day, as much as I tell myself to not let my emotions show they always end up peaking through. Aw well.) But anyway, she knew something was up. And I had made my mind up to just tell her. And I did, and when I did, I had thought she would get all mad and bitchy about it but surprisingly she didn't. In fact she was cool with it, don't ask me how I got so lucky to not get in trouble with it, but I didn't. I of course told her not to tell anyone, and again she said she wouldn't, and she didn't lie about that, she really didn't tell anyone ever. So I was thankful for that.

So anyway, Harry and I had kept doing our think and no one ever knew, well except for my ex but that was it. And really during all of this, I don't really know the reason to why I kept going back but it sure as hell wasn't the fact that I wanted to see Harry that I continued doing this, it was just for the fact that I was doing something rebellious, I liked having something no one knew about. But my reasons for it all was about to change.

xxxxxxx

One night I of course went to the room of requirements as usual. And just a couple maybe five minutes at t he max, Harry comes. And at first we just talked, and goofed around, (if you know what I mean.) And then after goofing around we were obviously naked at this point, (sorry for skipping the scene there, it's just that it wasn't the important sex part.) But anyway, after goofing around we just sat on the bed naked doing our own stuff, like reading or whatever, actually I wasn't reading, cause I don't read, but I was doing something with something that has paper, but I can't remember.

So anyway then randomly, Harry breaks the silence, and says, "Hey Draco, can I ask you a question?"

"Uh, yeah sure." I said but not looking up at him, I was obviously interested in whatever it was that I was doing. Maybe it was homework? Or was it a magazine? Aw well, that's not the important part.

"Well, I know this is going to be random," he continued, "but I was just wondering something."

Then I noticed how he paused and that usually is a sign that he wants to make sure that I was paying attention, so I look up to show that he had my full undivided attention.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Well I was just wondering do you think of other people when we have sex?"

Random! But the answer was yes, but I didn't answer that, cuz I knew it would be a rude answer. I knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear. I didn't even want to answer it, cuz he was pretty good at knowing when I lied, so I just changed the subject.

"So, whatcha readin'" I said curiously to try to sound innocent as if I was really wondering.

"Do you think of other people when we have sex?" He asked again with a serious face on knowing that I was trying to change the subject.

"Oh, I've never read that one before," I said being smartelic, "is it interesting?"

"Draco!" He said all seriously.

"What?" I yelled getting pretty annoyed myself. "Yeah, is that what you want to hear, yeah, I do so what?" I said, throwing down whatever it was that I was holding.

Harry also didn't throw, but put his book aside and then asked. "Who all do you imagine?"

Uhhh.

"I don't know," I said, but then he like looked at me like, 'come on tell me the truth,' so I did, and I named off all the names of people that I imagine or think of whenever I have sex or just people that I got turned on with.

"What do you imagine doing with them?"

Uhh, this guy's stupid twenty question game was really getting on my nerves, really it wasn't any of his damn business, okay, maybe it was just a little, but not really. So to get him pissed off I just started answering different possible ways to fuck someone. Or more like possible ways to fuck girls, cause those were my answers. But every time I would say an answer, he would ask an even more detailed question.

Like if I said, "missionary style," then he would say, "How fast?" then I would say, "Extremely," then he'd ask, "how hard," and I would answer, "very."

But as I started thinking of the sex and all of the girls, like I started getting hard, and I laid back on the bed cause before we were both sitting on t, and I laid back opposite side of Harry.

Then he was like, "so you don't even care about what we do, except just as a way to get sex?"

And I was mad that he had put all those images in my head, so I answered rudely,

"Duh, what else would I need you for?" and then I said something I knew would get to him. "In fact, I don't even really need you; I can please myself just as well."

He just stared at me not phased by what I said. And then I like was so turned on by all the images of girls that were flashing through my mind, and I couldn't, nor wanted to help it, so I started to masturbate right in front of him.

(Which I should mention that we both used to be big on masturbating, and we would do it in front of each other, or just anytime, and all the time. So it was no big deal.)

But this time, even though he had opened a door wide open for all those images of sex w/ girls to fill my mind; it wasn't that I was thinking of , (this is going to sound cheesy, but it's true); but all I could see was him. And it was like no matter how hard I would try to change from him to girls, it just didn't happen, he just stayed there.

And once again, I started getting more into masturbating, I was getting so turned on, and I became close to my climax.

'So, close, almost there, here it comes. But wait, no I can't, something's missing.' He appears again in my mind, 'no, I don't need anything, just continue what you were doing, you were so close.'

I try again to get a climax.

'Okay, here it comes, almost there. No, I can't, something is missing, but what the hell could it possibly be.'

Another image, then another, one right after the other. They just wouldn't stop. But then I realized that there must have been a reason to why he was appearing so much in my mind. Yes, that's it, that's what's missing.

I open my eyes up slowly from having them shut tightly with pleasure. There he was, the guy that was haunting my mind, I needed him.

Once I realized this, I reached my right arm out to him. He just stared at me not moving. I wanted him so badly at this point.

"I need you." I said arm still stretched out to him. He just blinked, and looked confused.

"What?" he asked.

"Can't…do it…on my own….need you….it doesn't feel right without you." I panted, needing him so bad.

Then he smirked, "is that what you say to all the girls you're with?" he asked.

"No," I answered, panting even more in pain by holding it all in for so long, but nothing happened, it's like it paused. Harry looked like he didn't believe me. So I had to try my best to convince him that I wasn't lying.

"Just you, I need **you**."

He just continued staring, but more like wondering, I guess he thought I was lying. I wanted him to believe me, but I didn't know how.

I then looked at him and whispered, tired of waiting.

"Please."

That must have done it, cuz he got up immediately and got on top of me. And the weirdest thing in the world happened, the almost there climax, and my need for sex vanished completely. And we started making out.

But not to long from that my hard had come back, but this time it was because I wanted to have sex, but not with myself or anyone else but with him, and then as soon as I realized this we first started rubbing our stuff against each other. But then I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he positioned himself to where his penis was near my entrance. And then he thrusted hard but not to hard into me.

And then I looked up at him from having my head tilted back to where my neck was facing him, but I looked up at him, and usually when I have sex with someone I don't think of them, or even try to imagine them, it just always ruined the enjoyment for me. But this time was completely different.

I saw him and looked into his eyes, and for_ the _first time ever, out of all the billions of times that I have had sex, when I looked at him it didn't ruin the sex, in fact if anything, it made it deeper, and more special, and enjoyable, and there was a feeling in which I had never felt before especially during sex. I felt comfortable, protected, and for the first time in my life I felt love.

I reached my arm up and placed my hand to where it cupped his face. I wanted to capture and keep this moment forever.

We were still moving as one but not as fast at this time, and I wanted to go all the way, and I moved my hand up from his face to his hair. And then we started going faster again, faster, and faster, and I then dug into his hair trying not to loose control when it happened, our climax. I call it our climax, cuz at the exact moment that I released on to him, he came inside of me.

And I can't lie, it felt so good, I started panting and moaning so much, it was literally the best feeling I had ever felt. I mean I have to admit I've had some really good fucks in the past and good sex after that, but this one was THE best. Nothing could ever feel better than that, it just felt so right, and so good, better than anything I had or have ever felt in my life. It was perfect

But as it started dying down, I placed both my hands on each side of his arms, and we were both breathing really heavily, and when I touched him I noticed he was all wet. I looked at him closer, and noticed that he was dripping with sweat, and then I noticed that I was as well.

This to was different for me, because the only time I had sweated during sex was if I was under the covers, during the summer, or if the heater was up high after doing it several times.

But we were on top of the freakin' confider, nothing on top of us, and it was cool in the room, and we had only done it one time. But I was sweating more than I had ever before, and although it was bizarre, I couldn't help but feel happy about it. Because I realized that the reason we were sweating was because we had built it up. Although it wasn't hot at all in the room, and there was no reason to be hot we had built up the heat, we made it together, and I was so happy and satisfied with that thought and I wrapped my arms around his neck, and looked straight into his eyes and every time we had sex, he would always be the one afterward to say, I love you, and I would just say it in reaction, but I never meant it, but as I looked deeper into his beautiful green eyes, I realized how much I cared about him.

Then I said, "Harry," he looked at me.

"What?" he asked, as our breathing become regular again.

"I love you." I said, meaning every word.

"I love you too." He answered and then he leant down again as we kissed and it was just the most perfect night of my whole life, it was the night that I had fallen in love with him.

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**Author's Note:**

Okay, that was the fifth chapter, I hope it was good, I was kind of rushed doing it, so it may not make sense, but hopefully it does. Don't forget to please review. Because I love them so much. Thanks much.


	6. Spin The Bottle

Chapter 6

**Spin The Bottle**

So things were going great over the next few weeks. But it was getting really difficult for me to hide my feelings for Harry; I mean I had finally found someone that I really liked and that I actually loved. So it was difficult to hide it or even deny it, because I just wanted to shout it out to everyone, I wanted people to know but I knew that Harry wouldn't want to be out yet or actually I didn't even know if he would ever want to be out in public, but the reason I didn't know was because I never asked. But aw, well.

But one day I kind of let my emotions peek through a little. I didn't mean to let them show, I just couldn't control them, and I mean it was difficult.

So one day, everyone, (well mostly everyone, pretty much everyone who wanted to show up, which was a lot.) but everyone from any house came to this get together thing, including me and Harry, but we of course didn't go together or nothing, we didn't even sit near each other really. (I wouldn't call it a party or nothing, because it really wasn't, it was more just like something like a get together, to play games and stuff, it wasn't like the other parties like before, it was more mellow.)

But anyway, so we all went to this party, and it was just a party where we played like games and stuff like that. And anyway someone thought it'd be a good idea to play an innocent game of spin the bottle. Which we had done every time these types of parties were thrown.

So of course it was just going to start with like just a peck kiss, it upgraded to where both parties have to kiss each other, and then it was where one person had to French the other, and then there was the final round to where both parties had to make out with each other.

A lot of the rounds had gone by, and so far it was going okay, I was in the clear. **Until**, (dun, dun, du.) the very last round. You, know the one where both parties had to make-out with each other.

Well it was my turn and I spun the bottle, and guess who was the lucky person that it just happened to have landed on, yeah, Harry, go figure.

I was like Crap dude. I mean the whole time the bottle was spinning there was a part of me that hoped it landed on him, but there was an even bigger part that was wishing it didn't.

So at first I was trying to act like I didn't want to do it. I put on my usual act that I hated him.

"Eww, oh, hell no," I said getting up, " there ain't no way that is going to happen."

"But Draco," someone girl said, " the rule is that you have to do it, and you cant change the person it picks, meaning you have to do it."

I knew she was right, stupid, but right all the same.

So as the fact reality in the fact that we had to kiss in front of everyone started to sink in, I started getting really nervous, and it had all of a sudden got really hot in the room. I started to brain storm for a way to get out of doing it, so I looked at the time from a near by clock. It was about an hour and a half till dinner would start, so I said,

"Hey, isn't it time for dinner, man I'm hungry." I said making my way towards the door.

"Draco!" Some guy who made up this whole party idea said.

And I knew that no one was going to fall for my stupid act. And I just started to panic.

It's not that I didn't want to kiss Harry, because we did like pretty much every night. It's just that no one was supposed to know and I knew that if I kissed him there would be no way I could be able to hide how much I would enjoy it.

But I told myself to stop panicking because that would show that I cared too much to get out of it and that would look suspicious. So I told myself to just do it and get it over with, and to not to get to into it to much.

So I made my way back to the center of the circle, and Harry got up as well, but I could tell that he was hesitant about it as well, because he knew that he too wouldn't be able to hide his emotions as well.

It took a while for anything to happen, but then I looked up at him, just as he did me, and we both gave each other a look that said, 'don't get into it.' So we stepped closer, as kids started saying, "Any day now."

There was a rule in the game that especially on the final round that the people had to kiss for a certain amount of time. I think it was supposed to be for a whole minute.

But as we stepped closer to each other and we leaned in to each other, and the moment his lips touched mine I was locked. I forgot where we were, I forgot about the audience we had, and when his tongue entered my mouth I became oblivious to the world around me, and it just felt like it was just us; alone, no one else in the world, it felt so right, and I didn't want it to end.

But then Harry quickly pulled away, I all of a sudden remembered everything, and I looked straight at the clock when I noticed that three whole minutes had gone by.

Kids started cheering like a bunch of lunatics, and as I headed back to where I was sitting before, the kid next to me said, "That was long for you hating him, huh."

But I just sat down in silence, and put my arms in my lap and my face in my hands, because I couldn't hide the blush that had come to my face.

So this was when people pretty much knew for sure that something was definitely going on between us. But Harry and I still wouldn't come out and tell everyone about us, even though they just kind of knew. Although it didn't matter what they knew we wouldn't be around them for a long time anyway, or in that case be with each other, because Christmas break was coming up soon; and I would go back home, and I think Harry was going to hang out with his so called, 'friends.' So it was really going to suck. But at least I didn't have to deal with the rumors anymore.

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**Author's Note: **Okay, so that was what chapter 6, and again I hope it was good. Sorry if it's not, or if it doesn't make absolute sense. It's just that it's this story is kind of difficult for me to write, because like said with the other versions of this story is that I have already written it all down in a journal, but when I wrote it I had no idea that I would put it out on fan fiction, so I kind of didn't get all in to itty bitty detail with it, so I have to make it tie in. For example, like when Draco and Harry got up to kiss in this chapter, in my journal I had just written, 'we were supposed to kiss for a certain amount of time, like I think a minute, but the instant his lip touched min I was locked.' So as you can see it skipped when they got up and all that, and I had to just make it up on the spot, which was kind of difficult because I don't know if it'll sound good or not. But hopefully it will.

Another thing is yes I changed the chapter up at the end a little because I realized that I kind of mixed things up from how they were in my journal. Because, in my journal the whole spin the bottle thing happened before the life changing sex thing, and I obviously switched them around, not intentionally though. I was just going to reverse them, but then I thought, 'why do I have to reverse them, I can make this work.' So I did **Alot** of brainstorming and I decided of a good way that it could tie in. Hopefully it works out great, and no I won't write about the Christmas break because a) That wasn't in my journal, so I have nothing to say about it, and b) it would just be really boring. Hope it all works out good in the end. Please tell me what you think though.

So please don't forget to please leave a review, I love them, and I love ya'll.

Thanks much.


	7. Confession

**Author's Note** Okay, just as a reminder I'm not going to write about the Christmas break. So it'll just pick up to where everyone comes back to the school. Alright here we go. YAY!!!!

Chapter 7

**Confessing**

So, Christmas break was coming to an end. It was late at night and I wanted to get back to school so badly. Usually I enjoy Christmas break, but this time it was so difficult. I just couldn't stop thinking of Harry, no matter how much I tried. I didn't know why he was in my mind so much. But it was actually really annoying. But I realized that there really wasn't anyone that I had missed so much before in my life. And no one that I just felt like I had to be with them. And I didn't like being away from him, not only during the break, but just at school as well, like the nights where we couldn't be together. I didn't really understand why we had to be kept a secret. I thought of it all night and had come up with an idea.

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So the next day everyone arrived back at the school. And usually when we arrived back, the students usually get time to catch up with each other, and we just usually go to our houses and that would be it. But I guess the headmaster wanted to change it up a bit this year. Because as soon as we entered the school, there were teachers there directing us to the Great Hall, as if we had forgotten where it was since the break.

Once we entered the Great Hall, instead of it being set up with the usual long tables and benches, there were chairs placed in a huge circle and there were about ten rows. It looked like a crop circle of chairs. I didn't know why this was but just went along with it.

They told us not to just sit in any particular seat, but with our houses. So I looked around and immediately found the Slytherine house, but that wasn't what I cared about finding. So I went over and took a seat in the front row, still glancing around. And then I had found what it was that I was truly looking for. Yeah, Harry, I saw him, the Gryffindor house was right across from us. And he was in about the seventh row. I kept my eye on him, thinking that he would feel someone looking at him, and then maybe he would look over and see me. But no; the little fucker was just chatting away with his lame ass friends, and didn't even notice that I was still living. I didn't even know if he even cared anymore at this point. (Yeah, I know, I assume the worst all the time.) But even though I was upset that he hadn't noticed me yet, I couldn't help just be happy with the fact that I got to see him again. And I was just really glad that he was okay and all.

But then the headmaster stopped my thoughts by coming into the middle of the gigantic circle.

"Welcome back, everybody." He said aloud. Some people responded, before he went on.

"Okay, yes this year we decided to do something different. Instead of you all just coming in and going about on your merry little way, we decided that we should just have time to hear from you all. So we'll start with the with the first row on the Hufflepuff side, and then we'll go around and then up the rows, okay."

So pretty much the firs couple of Hufflepuffs told what they did during there break, and then it went to the Ravenclaws that were in the first row, and then it was the Slytherines turn. And seeing the fact that I was in the first row, this meant that I had to stand up and participate as well. So I stood up and just summarized what I did, (excluding the information about how I depressed with the fact that I couldn't be with Harry.)

But as others after me went, I just started thinking about all the times Harry and I had shared together, and I remembered the night where I had fallen in love with him, and I just really wanted to tell people, I didn't want to keep it a secret anymore. So as everyone was going I wasn't even listening to a damn word any of them said. And before I knew it everyone had finished. I was so caught up in my thoughts of Harry that I hadn't even seen or heard him go. But I guess he did.

And then I saw the headmaster making his way back to the center of the circle, and I assumed it was to dismiss us. But I wasn't ready for everyone to be dismissed. So I stood up and beat him to the center. (Hopefully I didn't look like a dork.)

"Mr. Malfoy?" the headmaster asked, looking at me as if I had just done something provocative.

"Oh," I said, "Even though I've already gone, there was something that I left out."

The headmaster looked at me, same with the rest of the school, but then he just shrugged and told me to go on.

"Okay," I started looking round at them to collect their attention before speaking.

"I want to say something that's happened pretty recently in my life."

Everyone looked real interested.

"I know before the break and probably still now people are wondering about the rumors that Justin Finch-Fletchly told everyone before the break, about me and Harry Potter being gay together, and pretty much just to summarize it up I just want to say, I'M IN LOVE1!!!"

And yes I did yell it like a complete maniatic fool.

But like a bunch of dumbasses, everyone was like, "with who?"

Uh, duh, I had just said it. That would have had to have been the stupidest thing I had ever heard. Because I said his name right before I had said that I was in love.

But I just rolled my eyes and gave a big sigh and said, "with Harry Potter."

Yeah, I know what your thinking stupid thing to do, especially since I hadn't even talk to him let alone ask him if it would be okay to tell everyone. So I kind of just shocked the world right there.

And yeah I know Harry is a bit shy and all, but I thought he was just not wanting to talk to people, because he didn't want any one to know about us.

Then the headmaster stood up and ran to the center of the circle and rudely pushed me out of the way, and went right in front of the Gryffindor row and looked up in the seventh row at Harry, who looked completely shocked and really embarrassed.

"Is this true?" the headmaster asked, and everyone turned to see his answer, but because he hates attention, he didn't answer he just sat there not answering.

I probably would have been offended by this if we had talked about it. But I excused it because I thought, if I didn't see him in like forever and hadn't even talked to him, and he just randomly told everyone, I would be shocked, upset, nervous, and kind of scared.

But let's just say this isn't the only time he's been quite.

But I thought that maybe this would mean that we could be public with our relationship. Boy was I wrong. Yeah, let's just say this was going to be the weirdest relationship I would or have ever been in.

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**Author's Note: **FINALLY, I got finished with that chapter, sorry if it doesn't make sense or what not, it's just that I've been focusing on making Harry and Draco music videos on youtube, and I finally uploaded my first one, it's called, "In The End", it's about how all there time together meant nothing in the end. So if you wanna check it out, you can watch it, if you visit, my profie for the youtube site. don't forget to please review.

Thanks much.


	8. UPDATE

**AUTHOR'S UPDATE: **Okay, hey, this is for everyone who has been reading this story, and you may be wondering why I haven't been posting any new chapters lately. Well, that's because I've been preoccupied with other stuff, and there was a time, where I thought of quieting the story, but I hate it when I like a story and then the author decides to stop and never finished, so I decided not to. Plus I'd be mad at myself for doing so. So anyway, I'll be gone for the next week, away from the internet, but I'll definitely type more up. So just wanted you all to know that I wasn't quieting I've just been busy, but hopefully I'll post a lot of chapters on my return, so yeah.

Thanks much.


	9. Total Opposites

**Author's Note**Okay, hey guys, sorry about the long wait. Thank you though for hanging in there, and being so patient and the best fans ever. Um, I'm still kind of stuck on which direction I should head the story towards, so if it goes way off topic, or doesn't make sense completely then I'll hope you will excuse me. But I'll try my best so here I go. Oh, and don't forget to please leave a review, I love them, and I love you all.

Thanks much: D

Chapter 8

**Total Opposites**

I title this one Total Opposites cuz that's what me and Harry were, total opposites.

Okay, like I said before, I thought that me telling everyone including him that I loved him meant that we could be public with our relationship. NOPE, ain't gonna happen.

Nothing really changed except that people of course looked at us differently.

At first they looked at us like we were weird and all that, but soon they started looking at us like we did something really cute.

But there were still some haters left out there, but they never really bugged me, because I didn't let them bring me down, I didn't let the whole scenario bring me down, I guess because I wasn't ashamed nor embarrassed with my decision.

Unlike Harry, who, I don't know if he was ashamed or embarrassed, or exactly why he acted the way he did. But he did start acting completely different, like mainly he pretty much stopped talking in public.

Like, just to clear something else up, we also didn't have to sneak into the room of requirements anymore, because I had talked to the headmaster and asked if it was alright if Harry and I could just like be in there instead of our dorm rooms. Surprisingly he said that it would be totally fine, he said it was because they really had no use for it anyway.

So back to what I was saying, Harry never talked to people, like he would talk to me like all the time, but whenever he was around a big group of people he just wouldn't talk, like at all. He even stopped talking to his two good friends, which is EXTREMELY bizarre, because they were like his best friends in the whole world. And then he just randomly decides not to talk to them anymore. I know weird.

Again I don't have any idea to why he changed so much, and I really didn't know if him not talking was a good thing or not.



Because I didn't know if it was like because he didn't want to talk to other people, and he just wanted to talk to me and that was it, but that was just lame, if that was what it was. You know how some people do that, usually no offense to Harry, but usually girls tend to do that, once they get a boyfriend they just tend to push their friends away, whether if they mean to or not. But I didn't want anyone to do that, like I didn't want to be the reason for them to push their friends away.

It was just such a weird thing, because I wasn't used to quite people, like the girls that I usually dated, they would be talkative, not only to me but as well as everyone else. So I really didn't know if it was a good or bad thing.

And it was like no matter what I would do or say he just wouldn't talk to anyone. Like I would always ask him why he stopped talking to people, and he would act like he didn't realize he was, and then he would say that he would talk, but then the next day it would be the exact same thing.

But there really wasn't much time to make a change anyway, because as sad as it was the school year was almost over. This was really going to suck, cuz that meant that I wouldn't be able to see Harry at all. Because well, duh, I had to go back and live with my family, and he unfortunately had to go back and live with those evil people, so yeah, it was going to suck.

There was about two more months of the school year left. This didn't leave that much time for us. Especially since we both became very busy and focused on the end of the year exams.

And pretty much the only time we ever saw each other was at night, but we wouldn't really have much talking time, because we were so tired, and just went to sleep.

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**Author's Note**: Okay, guys I know that probably wasn't the best chapter ever, and especially to make you guys wait for so long, and that's all I got, I'll understand if anyone's upset with it. I just didn't have much time on the computer on my break like I thought I would. I am terribly sorry, but if you all could still leave a review, that would be great, all reviews are appreciated, and will help lots.

Thanks much.


	10. Finding A Way

Author's Note: Okay, hey guys I know again it's been a while since my last chapter, but yet again I've been really caught up i

**Author's Note**: Okay, hey guys I know again it's been a while since my last chapter, but yet again I've been really caught up in a lot of stuff, so yeah. Now for this chapter, I'm not really sure on where I left off, like I think for some reason I made the school year end, and I'm really not to sure on why I did that, to tell you the truth, it wasn't part of my original plan. So since I did that what I'm having trouble with now is having to pick up from there, I'm not really sure if I'm going to talk about the summer, but I see no need in that since nothing really would happen, I'm trying to come up with ideas, but I don't know if they'd be good one's and even so, I've already changed the story so much to where it's just a whole new story now, it's not really my original story anymore. But hopefully everything will come out and fall into place good, so this chapter may not make sense, because right now, as I'm typing this down, I have no idea what it will be about. But hopefully, like I said it'll end up good. So here I go. Hope you all enjoy, and don't forget to please leave a review if you like.

Thanks much.

**Finding away**

So it was the last day of my fourth year of school, and I have to admit it was actually for once pretty difficult to say good bye, not really to the school, noticing the fact that I hated school, but to Harry.

I didn't know what would happen between us, I mean we wouldn't see each other for two months and a couple of weeks, and when we get back who knows how much would have changed by then. Like what if when we come back I'll be so excited to see him, but the feeling wouldn't be mutual, and he like moves on or something, or visa versa, to where he was so excited to see me, and for some reason maybe I will have moved on, I don't think I would do that, but honestly you never know. Or what if he's dating someone else by that time, or again visa versa. Uhh, I didn't want to deal with that, but a lot can change from now till then.

I didn't even know really where we stood now, I would like to say okay and everything, but with him acting all weirdo like lately I didn't know. I guess I would just have to talk to him about it, but I don't really want to, because I know already how it was most likely going to go. I would mention it, and he would just try to ignore it, or just not answer, and then I would get all serious, and he would still try to ignore it, or still say nothing, and that would start to piss me off, and I would most likely get so fed up with it that I would just leave.

And I don't want that, I don't want our last time together, to be an argument, that's just stupid. Maybe I just should avoid the whole situation all together. But I wanted to know, uhh, I'm not good at this type of stuff.

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So the whole last day I didn't see Harry at all, in fact the whole last week I barely saw him, because everyone was busy studying for exams, and then on the last two days it was full of everyone taking the final exams.

I actually tried to do somewhat good on the exams, but I, a) didn't really care, and, b) couldn't get my mind off of Harry, (I know I was becoming a bit obsessed,) but any who

We had three more classes to go, meaning three more forty minutes which would be, approximately an hour and twenty minutes I think, I don't know I'm not too good at mathematical crap.

But so yeah, pretty much it was a long time from now until school was over, but even then I wouldn't see Harry until all the activity crap was over, like the last meal that the school always had, and they always made it such a big deal, and then there was the like graduation stuff for the seventh years, and they just always had stupid lame activities that they wanted us to participate in that none of us gave a damn about.

So after I finished my final test, I had about thirty minutes left to do nothing, so I just decided to sleep, but sleep was impossible cuz I was so like anxious but I don't know exactly what about.

Finally the class got dismissed, meaning I was now officially a fifth year at school, no longer an immature fourth year. But as much as I wanted this year to end, now I didn't want it to go by so fast, I really wanted it to go buy slow. So as I thought about this, I decided not to complain or bitch about the lame activities that the school would force us to do, and instead enjoy them knowing that I'm still here at the school where Harry still was and we were still in the same building together.

Wow, that was a big realization, me actually wanting to stay in school, that's really bizarre, but it's not like I want to stay because of school work or nothin'.

**Author's Note**:

I know, this is the most random place to stop at, but I have been caring this story around forever and just am ready to post it, even though it's not. So I know it's not good, but like I said, I'm dealing with a whole new story than what I was originating with, so yeah, but bear with me and it should pick up and go on it's way soon. Please leave a review if you like, I love to know what ya'll think. Thanks much.


	11. Chapter 11

**AUTHOR'S UPDATE**:

Okay, hey everybody, I know it's been 4ever since I've posted anything but this isn't a chapter, but I have been extrememly busy but I am going to read my fanfic, and some others to get me back into the spirit of writing so hopefully it won't be long, and I am so sorry for taking so long


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